There’s a lot of opinion flying around right now about a certain prominent politician’s decision to resign before her term had ended. Certainly, American culture despises quitters and glorifies the Rocky mindset of dogged persistence, even at great risk of harm to self and others. Such stories of sacrifice are often glorified: “I gave my all to my company/art/Lord/country/relationship, and lost everything and everyone else along the way…but it was worth it!” Really? Those statements indicate that everything else outside that one goal really wasn’t that important in the first place. So if your relationship doesn’t matter to you more than your work, why have one at all?

The truth is, peoples’ actions reflect what they truly value the most. Not that we don’t have conflicting values–this is part of the human condition. But we still do have a LOT of choice about what we do and say when we get up every day, and these choices really do indicate what we care about the most. When we criticize ourselves or others for our choices, we are really making a judgment about what we feel another person is valuing. Usually when we are angry at someone for quitting, we are expressing our own displeasure at what we feel the person SHOULD value, but their actions reflect something different. Be sure your actions are aligned with what you truly value, and then you can be content and free of inner conflict. Other people will always have opinions about your choices, but it’ll be their problem, not yours!

Sometimes quitting is the most honest, liberating action you can take. It frees you to take on obligations and commitments that are in alignment with who you are at your most authentic. There are television programs dedicated to helping people reduce physical clutter in their lives, but not much on helping people let go of commitments that are unsuitable for them. I urge you to take a look at how you spend your time and your mental and emotional energy, and see if it lines up with what you feel is most important to you.

For example, take a classic American conflict of work time versus family time. Perhaps providing for your family is more important than spending time with them, because you value your role as a competent provider and protector of them, using the argument “why be a parent at all if I can’t support my family? That’s the POINT of being in this relationship!” If you are stressing about money, then, focus your energy on increasing your income earned for spending the same amount of time or less at your job. But perhaps you have a more trusting view of your financial condition, and feel that nothing is more important than sharing yourself with your family. In that case, be sure to avoid jobs that take an unreasonable amount of time or energy, regardless of the financial rewards that might come in exchange for such an attachment. If you are truly committed to doing whatever it takes to excel at a demanding career, have the courage to say no to the high-maintenence house, loads of pets that need and deserve your time and attention, and other situations that you will fail the other party miserably by biting off truly more than you can chew, or making promises you really just don’t want to keep.

Life really is too short to be fake about your values for the sake of looking good. The truth shall set you free, if you actually act on it. Good luck!