I’ve just been reading a wonderful little book called “Jeffrey Gitomer’s Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude—How to Find, Build, and Keep a YES! Attitude for a Lifetime of Success.” (FT Press—Pearson Education) This author is a funny, funny fellow. He’s in sales and motivational speaking, so by nature he’s optimistic…thank goodness!

We need optimists, and we need people who will teach us to stand up to those Gitomer calls “pukers.” Pukers are people who vomit up their negative attitude on anything you talk about. If you’re excited about a new venture, they’ll tell you about their failures. If you tell them about a new relationship, they’ll come back with a cynical warning or story of betrayal. If you support an organization, sure enough, they’ll Google that organization’s past mistakes and tell you all about it. Basically, they are the consummate “rainers on parades.” What a drag!

So, how do you deal with these pukers, whom we inevitably come in contact with at work, in public, or even at home? First, realize that their own negativity is coming from them and them alone. Their pain is theirs, not yours. Their history of failure and defeat is theirs…NOT yours. Their fear of getting hurt or disappointed, which they try to cleverly disguise by copping a cynical attitude, is their fear…but it doesn’t have to be yours, too. Remember, negativity is truly a contagious disease that spreads like wildfire. You need a strong immune system to constantly ward it off, especially if you live, work, love and play in America!

Second, just combat their negativity with a gentle pushback. You don’t have to change their minds (you won’t, anyway), but you do need to establish yourself as someone who isn’t going to buy into their gloom and doom. A clever comeback Gitomer suggests, when faced with a puker responding to your news of your new venture, would be “You may be right. I’ll keep you posted with my progress. By the way, if it starts to pay off, when do you want me to give you a chance to get involved?” Brilliant!

Gitomer recommends several methods of dealing with pukers, but I’ll let your desire to know all of them drive you to get that great little book. (Gitomer’s website is www.gitomer.com, by the way.) But his last method I want to draw your attention to is this: “Don’t talk about what you’re going to do. Just do it.” I always say, the best revenge is a happy life. Concentrate on your own positivity, your own actions, your own development. Let the genuinely curious come ask you questions about what you’re doing, and don’t waste your breath trying to sell it to anyone else. You don’t need anyone’s approval, anyway. Or do you? If you do, you might want to look at that a bit. As I have said many times before, looking to external circumstances for happiness is the road to inner hell.

Good luck!